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01 Aug 2016 11:04PM
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ATT: All humans beings of 25 human years and up, SPECIFICALLY South Africans - Exclusive Pan-Sexual (I don't buy these sexual-orientation gerundive labels either, but as a fairly accurate generalised proclivity expectant it will have to do = or I could have said: just enjoy fucking everything thats' alive, legal and human) Hard Swing Orgy to be Hosted close to Cape Town end September 2016.

The Party is a minimum time investment of Friday night 20:00 through to Sunday morning 08:00. No popping off to feed the cat or check on the twins or blaze blunts in your Renault.

Minimum age of applicants: 25 (ish) or proof of minimum 2 year completed membership at an acknowledged Swinger Club endorsed by the Co-Hosts.

Minimum age of consideration for Fluffers, Pets or Valets is 21, non-negotiable.

Deposit upon acceptance of an invitation $1000 (excluding taxes / directives) per person. This is the maximum anyone will pay and covers everything. Yes, I really do mean everything. There are several mechanisms to earn proportional refunds. There is opportunity to receive 25% of their deposit back upon departure post-party for being part of the orientation and etiquette refresher (week prior via webcast). Any guests who are active members of MOTHERLESS.COM from application to departure will receive a 6-month Premium Membership to the site from 1 October 2016 to 31 March 2017.

*You are welcome to refer anyone to get the preamble and be put on the potential applicants list they will need to register and participate on MOTHERLESS.com. We don't read deeply into your profiles but it does give certain insights. Only people on the potential applicants list will have their applications processed.*

The setting is a kick-ass mansion which is professionally staffed and stocked. All food, alcohol, attendants, security, medical, gimps, prostitutes, media capture, sex-paraphernalia, fetish gear, raffle tickets consumables and insurance is included. One strictly controlled zone will be live-streamed to certain broadcast partners / websites. Participants have the option of enforcing certain visage censorship options. However your image rights for the prescribed event times and all profits generated from the trade thereof will be contractually leased to us for the prescribed duration of the party.

No masks, cosplay or theme ; guest-list flavour is Pan-Sexual Libertine and we reserve right of admission and omission to make sure the spread is appropriate. All attendees will participate in an online orientation. There is a compulsory ice-breaker for all guests (in the city) the week prior which does have a COSPLAY element, critical to the success of our previous endeavors. Attendance and participation in these essential mechanisms will guarantee a partial refund of the 1000 US Dollar deposit.

This is a Full Hard Swing Party with themed niches, and Pan-sexual in nature, lipsticks and dipsticks will be weeded out during selection process. No cross-species or fecal interactions, nor any juvenile titillation. Any other legal sexual proclivity is welcome for consideration and all applicants need to have at the absolute minimum tolerance for all kink indulgences. If you have boundary list as long as the League of Nations cartographers stick to chat rooms and a some-sex marriage. And your new hobby of deciding how to rebuke me for that insolence.

To paraphrase our beloved site : if it's legal and it gets you wetter than an otter's pocket or harder than genius level Sudoku - it's on. My acid test on any sexual dilemma is "What would Belladonna do?". Then do it.

Everyone may request the preamble and suspiciously question me in an irritable tone via email or this site's inbox but eventual applicants need to be authentically pan-sexual and broadly sexually tolerant and participant Being offered an opportunity to book a place isn't an immediate process so if you are one of those folk that uses that infuriating brush-off "no ping-pong mails" Don't even bother.

Be fluent in English (written and spoken) and practiced in basic swinger etiquette. There are no physical or mental trump cards so if you pride yourself on your monolithic plumbing or Sting-level Tantric skills super - pop it under "Misc". And if you reckon you're the greatest fuck on Earth then we are lucky to have you and can I get a high five while we Australian Spit-Roast an androgynous hod-carrier with "Don't untie the balloon-knot" tattooed in the small of his back? The only way on planet Earth to manipulate me is to be Harley Quinn and threaten my life if I don't fuck you to within an inch of yours. And I don't mean Margot, I mean Harley.

If you meet the age, un-undead and species requirements and can afford the cost you are welcome to apply.

Any folk who are not living locally are offered a free concierge, accommodation, city orientation and travel management package with significant discounts as an optional extra.

Pre-agreed personal boundaries, discretion, respect and personal safety are FIERCELY sovereign and enforced by our staff who are uniquely experienced in what is a very intense and volatile environment. We rely upon the accuracy of our selection process to prevent any potential unpleasantness but where there are humans, alcohol and sex there is potential jeopardy. The hosts and hubbers manage the sexual climate but from the arrival of the first paying guest until the hosts departure our man Hein is in charge and decision maker. 'n sterk, sterk mannetjie.

All monies are handled via a Trust with external auditing and transacting.

There are 16 guest spots (excluding hosts and staff), I will be looking for one hub couple who will participate free if they take on that practical prefecture for the party. There are 15 remaining Valet and Fluffer positions which are paid contractual roles.

To get preamble:

Message me on the site with friend request (it will be accepted and must stay in place until you make a decision to apply or not. I'm not in the business of harvesting chaff online so unfriend me when it suits you. The premable will be sent out once a week, each week of this month, applications open 1 September.

If you meet age requirements, can afford the cost and are excited to attend you are welcome to apply. Bribes of under 75 000 000 US Dollars will be kept as evidence for about 20 years then thrown back in your face. Rights share participation is not on sale.

Time-wasters, BullShitters, assholes, The Welsh, Scammers, Trolls, Uber-Trolls and UCAs all are welcome to engage / annoy me, just be sure to expect an answer in kind. I don't use chat apps and only use a cell phone to fake calls and look earnest when I can't watch pornography on any other human-sized device. I do not understand pacmen or code, morse the pity.

Suggestion - this is not a compulsory exercise, religious evangelism, product or company recruitment process nor is it my way to antagonise folk. Please think about it before castigating me and questioning my motives, moral fibre, family tree, breeding, choice of jai alai team to support and gene pool.

Our agenda: We like fucking and we like earning money while we fuck, on a carpet of money. If possible.

Application is free, apparently so is Willy. Which is encouraging.

RIGHT here is the requisite CLICHE:

You will know if this is for you or not, act accordingly - of you are unsure or curious follow your nose.

ALWAYS Asked Questions............


How do I know you will deliver the party you are advertising?

Nobody is going to put down 1K USD without being convinced. If you aren't confident in what you have experienced with us by decision time - reject your option to attend and say cruel and uncouth things about my partners.

Other Hosts' Site Profile names please?

My Co-Hosts are not members of this site, so yes, if you choose to pursue interest here you have to deal with me. If you don't like that send a strongly worded email complaint to my boss: "Anonymous". He is often posting on the boards here and seems involved and just a lol of fun.

Can I talk to people who have attended previous such parties of yours (and I don't mean you or any other hosts / employees you Douche-bag)?

Yes, it is part of the process for successful applicants prior to invites being distributed. Although it strikes me you are the one that is full of shit.

Are you Bill Murray?

Fuck no, I wish.

When seeking the needle in a haystack, expect to encounter a lot of little pricks along the way.
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